We are now on Day 5 of "Big Boy Bed" Training. It isn't going easily. It's much like going trough teething again, only this time I'm the one causing the "pain".
I get some comfort in reading about other moms' battles with the transition but mostly I am tortured by this whole process. The boy must take naps and he needs sleep - but he just won't go peacefully. Nap times are usually preceded with 60-90 minutes of play-time & crying (play time - fine! crying - torture!). Bed time is all about going up to "rescue" him after 15-20 minutes of crying, spending 5 or so minutes with him and going through the process again and again until he passes out (usually 2-3 visits).
Stephen has been a great support in all this, but he's at work during the day - he only has to play the game once a day. It's chipping away at me. By the time he falls asleep for his afternoon nap, I feel like I should be calling CPS on myself! In the process of waiting for him to fall asleep, I am a hostage in my own home. I can't get my housework done because any noise I make he uses it as a kick start to a new crying jag.
Oh, did I mention, Zac has finally started verbalizing "mama" and "papa". He's been using the sign language signs for mama and papa for quite some time, but it's an amazing feeling to finally hear him call out our names...unless, of course, it's under duress.
I've read all about transitioning a toddler and I know what I'm "supposed" to do. I even know how to handle "out of the ordinary" situations - but none of the "magic" is working. Zac is not happy to put himself to bed and I am not happy with how this is playing out for him.
As a parent, I know full well that I will ruin his life somehow. I was just hoping it was going to be in a way that I wasn't aware of and much later in his life.
Is it too soon to find him a therapist?
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Big Boy Bed
Yesterday afternoon (Nov. 4, 2011), I went upstairs to relieve Zac from his afternoon rest to be greeted AT HIS DOOR by the one and only Zac HIMSELF! The escape artist had finally figured out how to get out of his crib.
I promptly plopped him back in his crib and asked him to "show me your trick!". At which time, he promptly showed me how he hefted his little leg onto the crib rail and began throwing his body weight around in order to get his core up and over.
When papa came home, I relayed the news (that we'd be installing the toddler rail before bed time) and so Papa had to ask him to "show me the trick" with the very same results. So, we put our brains in gear and couldn't, for the life of us, remember where the movers had put the toddler rail conversion kit for Zac's crib. After checking both the usual and unusual places, we decided that the toddler rail probably got tossed out with other boxes and won't me making an appearance any time soon.
Papa, in his infinite ingenuity, devised a way to transition the current crib to it's 3rd position as a day bed...and big boy bed training begun.
Zac and I hung out in his new and improved bedroom while Papa ran to the store to pick up a safety rail. Zac was having a grand time! Hanging out in a bed that allowed him the freedom he deserved helped to give him confidence in himself and allowed him to have a whole new power over his personal space that he's never enjoyed before.
All was well and good until bed time. How is it that a bed that he's always slept in, with one "freedom inducing" change and that was just fine 30 minutes before hand is now a torture instrument?
SCREAMING, bloody murder screaming is what we endured for almost an hour (we went to him ever 10 or 15 minutes to calm him down and to reassure him that we were still here for him). He finally tired himself out enough when I had gone up for the last "watch" of the night and "laid" with him in his bed.
The same happened during our afternoon nap today.
Bedtime this evening was worse than the night before. However this time, Papa took a new approach.
Mama took the first shift and got Zac ready for bed, read some books, had a sip of milk, did the good night prayer...not 2 minutes after Mama left, the raging scream fest began. Papa headed up 15 minutes after initial bedtime to calm the waters and really gave Zac power over his new arrangements.
A series of questions (all answered with a very enthusiastic "no" head shake) opened Zac's world to a new way of seeing his most familiar surroundings. "Does this look like your old bed?", "Is your bed scary?", "This looks like your pack 'n' play and you can tickle the rough sides, right?", etc. All trying to show Zac how familiar and comfortable his own bed was regardless that it was without one side.
Stephen was able to temporarily calm him, leave the room and Screamfest 2.2 began. Thankfully, just 5 minutes into the fest Zac, found his own way to his not so scary bed, laid down and is now (as I type) almost all the way to slumberland.
Whoa, what an adventure. I remember "Ferberizing" him for sleeping through the night, but I don't remember it being this heart wrenching!
Here's hoping that tomorrow's nap time and bed time are half the battle that it's been so far.
I promptly plopped him back in his crib and asked him to "show me your trick!". At which time, he promptly showed me how he hefted his little leg onto the crib rail and began throwing his body weight around in order to get his core up and over.
When papa came home, I relayed the news (that we'd be installing the toddler rail before bed time) and so Papa had to ask him to "show me the trick" with the very same results. So, we put our brains in gear and couldn't, for the life of us, remember where the movers had put the toddler rail conversion kit for Zac's crib. After checking both the usual and unusual places, we decided that the toddler rail probably got tossed out with other boxes and won't me making an appearance any time soon.
Papa, in his infinite ingenuity, devised a way to transition the current crib to it's 3rd position as a day bed...and big boy bed training begun.
Zac and I hung out in his new and improved bedroom while Papa ran to the store to pick up a safety rail. Zac was having a grand time! Hanging out in a bed that allowed him the freedom he deserved helped to give him confidence in himself and allowed him to have a whole new power over his personal space that he's never enjoyed before.
All was well and good until bed time. How is it that a bed that he's always slept in, with one "freedom inducing" change and that was just fine 30 minutes before hand is now a torture instrument?
SCREAMING, bloody murder screaming is what we endured for almost an hour (we went to him ever 10 or 15 minutes to calm him down and to reassure him that we were still here for him). He finally tired himself out enough when I had gone up for the last "watch" of the night and "laid" with him in his bed.
The same happened during our afternoon nap today.
Bedtime this evening was worse than the night before. However this time, Papa took a new approach.
Mama took the first shift and got Zac ready for bed, read some books, had a sip of milk, did the good night prayer...not 2 minutes after Mama left, the raging scream fest began. Papa headed up 15 minutes after initial bedtime to calm the waters and really gave Zac power over his new arrangements.
A series of questions (all answered with a very enthusiastic "no" head shake) opened Zac's world to a new way of seeing his most familiar surroundings. "Does this look like your old bed?", "Is your bed scary?", "This looks like your pack 'n' play and you can tickle the rough sides, right?", etc. All trying to show Zac how familiar and comfortable his own bed was regardless that it was without one side.
Stephen was able to temporarily calm him, leave the room and Screamfest 2.2 began. Thankfully, just 5 minutes into the fest Zac, found his own way to his not so scary bed, laid down and is now (as I type) almost all the way to slumberland.
Whoa, what an adventure. I remember "Ferberizing" him for sleeping through the night, but I don't remember it being this heart wrenching!
Here's hoping that tomorrow's nap time and bed time are half the battle that it's been so far.
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